Caffeinated Criminals! A New Threat?
The community was shaken yesterday when a local coffee shop was the victim of a vicious crime.
At 10:44 in the morning the place was robbed of all its coffee creamer by a young gurl and what appears to be some kind of chonky boi. They first appeared to be normal customers and ordered a skim milk latte for the gurl and 11 donuts for the chonky boi. Then without warning, the chonki boi was nekkid and on the counter yelling about smol hats and that “the word ‘gif’ is pronounced with a hard ‘g’!” after which he bowled himself over the edge, screaming like a banshee.
In the confusion the pretty gurl made away with an entire box of coffee creamer, the last of the coffee house supply, which turned out to be mildly inconvenient for the rest of the day.
The only evidence is in the form of a frame from the surveillance camera at the coffee house. If anyone has seen these two out and about, please call your local Neighbourhood Watch!
Let’s hope this is not the beginning of a crime spree the likes of which our frenly community has not seen since the Great Snowball Pelting of ’02.