Around 3:00 Friday afternoon, Amelia Morris was doing her weekly shopping. Preparing a delightful squirrel stew, Amada stopped to chat with her neighbor Leo in the spice section. “Although he’s a boa constrictor and I’m a python, we both look forward to a weekend feast of spiced squirrels and other roadkill.”
Nothing could have prepared Amelia for this unexpected flavor in the spice section though. Unbeknownst to the grocery staff, a wild human had wandered into the store “No one knows how he got in, it was so scary,” explained Leo McDermott, “If snakes could sweat I surely would have been soaked.”
Thankfully, Ms. Morris, 32 was an expert human wrangler. Watching in quiet horror, the pythons, constrictors and eastern brown snakes gathered as Amelia deftly corralled the human and herded him to the exit with precise, spooky floor wiggles.
The human was escorted off the premises and returned to the wild and has not been seen since.
Report by Bibble.